I had an amazing weekend at Oracle Palooza. Just like you, I’m always working on myself… trying to find or stay on my path, and also trying to connect with others that are going through the same things I am. It was a 3-day journey with 3100 people from 51 countries as this was the very first Oracle Palooza done virtually using Zoom. Having been to an Oracle Palooza before here in Austin a few years back, I didn’t feel like it could possibly be as good. But with COVID-19 all around us, I just felt like it was a good move to give it a try.

From the first moment, I was so amazed at how well organized this thing was. And, to top it off, there were amazingly few glitches. The whole show was led by the amazing Colette Baron Reid in all of her mystical glory. There are a lot of metaphysical leaders out there, but in my opinion she is one of the people that has the most sincere vibe. Don’t get me wrong, ultimately she is selling you something — either DreamQuest or Oracle School – but even if you don’t choose to go that direction, you will come away from the event so much lighter than you entered it.

I have a code I follow in regards to our spiritual teachers — if they constantly prey on you by reminding you or bringing you back to the negative space that brought you to them in the first place, they aren’t healers. She just doesn’t do that. I feel her authenticity each time she speaks to someone or tells the story of how she got here. In my mind, she is truly here to help all of us find and shine our light if we let her.
So, I left this lovely experience exhausted — I was completely wiped out the following day, but that’s generally my state following any sort of deep conversation or social activity. I know it sounds crazy since not one of us met each other in person, but this was a very social activity. I also left with so much enthusiasm and hope. Not only did the cards lead me down my path (and man were they really obvious about it), but I felt so validated by all the lovely members of my 7 breakout sessions. You see, we gather and review our insights — some of us having to crack open some wounds to do it, but in the end we really hear the message. 

Mine was about this very thing I’m doing with you right now. This is the next step of my journey. While I’ve come out of the Woo Woo closet inadvertently by selling crystals and practicing Reiki as well as continuing my work with cards (I’ve done Tarot since i was 14 and started Oracle cards a few years back), I haven’t been able to vocally speak my truth for years. I just generalize without putting my real feelings or experiences on paper.

Once I became a Mom, I think it became all about my children, and I wanted to have the appearance of being your standard soccer Mom. I wanted to blend in like the pavement so that I didn’t hold them back or bring any unnecessary judgements on them. Now I realize this came from my own upbringing. My mother was always open minded (thank goodness!) – before her time in my opinion. While grandparents on both sides were avid churchgoers, she decided that she didn’t want me to be indoctrinated into something before I ever had a chance to really think about it, to understand it. She didn’t hold me back from it — if I was invited to Bible School by a friend she was happy to let me go. She just wanted me to really see and feel my options first. At that time, we lived in a much more conservative world, especially in my hometown of Beaumont. When others talked about church, I just clammed up. I felt judged by not necessarily my friends, but certainly their parents. If I’d stay over on a Saturday and my Mom wasn’t picking me up to take me to church that morning, I could literally feel their attitude towards me change a bit. So, I just learned not to talk about it, to keep it down low and just go with my friends to church if that’s what it took. But still, even in that I was exposed. The parishioners would all ask me what church I went to as they tried to convince me to switch to theirs. The feeling in my gut wasn’t pretty. I felt like a fraud.

So, there. I’ve done it. I think that’s the first time, beside Oracle Palooza that  I’ve said that out loud. I’ve spoken my truth.

(Please note: I respect church and it the perfect choice for some. For me, my church is found within me, in nature, within my home, or wherever spirit inspires me (and sometimes that includes within a church.) 

The story of my 7 cards led me down a path of being true to my authentic self and sharing that experience with others. Not just my own experience, but seeing my own self in the reflections of the stories of others. It also had a lot about releasing myself from boundaries (as a Reiki Master I’m very familiar with Chakras and have spoken to others about a barrier that I have felt in my chest for years) I wanted to come out of this cage I have built, but this wall was holding me back. Guess what y’all, between QHHT (more on that in another blog) and this amazing event, that wall is gone. I truly feel liberated. Did I mention one of my cards was a butterfly inside a golden cage? How beautiful is that! That is me in transition (as that’s what the butterfly represents). And, after being a caregiver for my mother who had Alzheimer’s for 8 + years — she sent me a message via song (they talk to me that way alot). As I stepped out of the house to sort of walk it off, I popped in my earbuds and the first song that played was Runaways by Life House. The words that struck me were these, “Yeah, we are crashing out of the cage, as free as a couple of runaways.” She was finally free of the Alzheimers, and I was free to find myself again. Granted, it’s taken a year and a half for me to get here, but I did get here. 

So, there it is. While I will continue to work with my crystals, my Reiki and my cards, I’m also going to share my story with you. I hope that some of it can reflect back on you and maybe inspire you to take a new step. This is such a time of reflection as a whole as we all sit here in the grand “Pause” called COVID-19. I truly feel that this time has arrived to help us realize that there is more to life than 4 walls and possibly an unfulfilling job. it’s a beautiful time to get to know yourself better. What is it your heart is calling for? Are you getting what you need in your everyday life? Just like all the businesses that are having to look at things a little differently, maybe it’s time for a pivot in your life. Don’t be afraid to be you. Don’t be a prisoner in your self-created cage. Be the beautiful butterfly and set your authentic self free.